Umbilical Noose

It’s been a pall across the shadow of face and life

I can’t lie about that. Not here, anyways.

If there is no honesty in the poem

There can’t be purity in the voice

I’m all showered and primped for bed

it’s inevitable.

The day mom called and asked if I was OK

Just hours after the lull and anomie set firm

Turned a stone in the cavernous chest

What did you lose?

And what timestamp

kept it all clean?

It’s been a shadow across the face of time,

I’ll tell you that

I start to question the unwedded bliss,

I start to lament that

I start to feel it sooner than not

The drive home is short, an asphalt meditation

Staccato lamentations borne of tired neurons

Like walking yourself into the admissions unit

to be held in repose

Against a Seroquel poisoned womb

Guarded against syringe tongues,

all the steely glances

About what you did,

didn’t and could never do

again or

ever will.

–ca. 2003-2005 (?) East Los Angeles, CA